miss you :(

what am i even thinking about?

i rlly hate how this cny period reminds me of everything about us. 1 year, it has been almost a year. why am i still here? why cant i be like u? why am i always the one stuck? its not like u are that good right hahahaha. i just miss u terribly out of a sudden. and i know u wont know u wont care u wont do anything. i fking hate this feeling! just gonna sleep it off like how i usually do sigh

can this shitty feeling just go away? i really hate it.... what a bad way to start the new year sigh

dk why i still care about u so much. i feel like a loser

went back for orientation today and every moment reminded me of my ogl days, and immediately reminded me of how we used to be - we used to be able to talk about anything, when u had problems i was the first to hear and console u, when i had problems u were the first to know as well. its amazing how much things have changed in just a year, how our situation became from that close to being an item, to becoming rlly awkward and avoid one another, and then now just friends. i always thought i've gotten over completely, telling myself that u arent worth it. but a part of me always behave diffrrently. for some reason i still rlly care for u alot, but i dont think i like u anymore - but that doesnt rlly make sense to me. going back for orientation today reminded me of so many things, i rlly rlly miss how we used be