losing you isnt a one day thing, it is something i experience, every single day...

i feel really unappreciated. but thats it ba. i guess im done? 

so seriously lacking of motivation... everyone is pulling my morale down which makes it even worse. i dont know how much more i can take.... it's getting hard. so sick and tired of life. nothing's going well. 

it's funny how when life gets harder, the more i wish u were here. like perhaps all these would be easier if u are still here with me. 

sigh, i dont know why am i feeling this way. you've probably forgotten everything about us and moved on happily. i should too, but what's stopping me? but honestly i think i've recovered from the sadness la, like i won't be sad over it (as much) anymore and a happier person in general. i mean ya life goes on... it's just sometimes certain places, songs and people just remind you of certain things. i wonder if you would feel the same sometimes. like just once in a very long while. 

its fine its fine, lifes fine. (actually it sucks)

it'll never happen

it'll never happen

it'll never happen

it'll never happen

it'll never happen

it'll never happen

i dont know what happened, but its just i feel further and further away from u. isit my fault? maybe i am being too sensitive bah. not that we are drifting away alot but its more of i feel theres this gap betw us??

idk why i still feel sad. cos we are both band 1 and i am band one with a classmate i am not rlly close with so i just natrually asked u if u wna sit tgt during lecture. but u just brushed me off without rejecting but i know u dw la. and i wont ask agn also la cos its gna be awkward and fk up. idk why i feel so sad ): like i thought the coast is clear alr and we are normal friends hahaha but i guess it'll still be awkward no matter how long bc its just you ba. i dont know where i am now, am i recovering, or am i actually still at sqaure one, surpressing all my feelings?

i rlly missed that feeling. and today i felt it again.

and i guess thats enough. 

i know u are not good for me, i know i will definitely find someone better, i know u arent worth it.

but i still like you. i still think about you sometimes and miss you alot alot.

but that's okay.

i dont know why but i AM FUCKING SAD OVER AN IPOD THAT CANT BE TURNED ON???? i dont know why am i so sad. part of it is that i spent $50 fixing it and it turned out like that. another part of it is that it has sentimental value in it! like i had it since sec2! and another part if that i rlly like it alot! just like how is it la. and now it just spoilt suddenly! i dont want to spent extra money fixing money if it's gonna end up failing on me again. but i rlly like it! SIGH WHY LIKE THAT.  ): why must evefything i like be taken away from me????

i just feel this is damn ridiculous and absurd? so this is what i get for being nice?!? I REALLY DONT GET IT. ITS NOT LIKE I AM DISTURBING YOU ALR OR WHAT. WHY YOU MUST DO ALL THESE SHIT TO ME. DO I REALLY DESERVE IT???

i've kept everything related to u away. far away. because i was so pissed. but i felt so sad after doing so. ugh whatever. take it as 我看错你了...