Tingwei is treating me colder and colder. I mean really, what went wrong? Am I wrong or he is just acting weird these few days? I really dk. Leonard is okay, he treats me gooood. I mean as in normal.

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I'm this close to crying.

Had a fun time at lin lao shi's house today. Happy that zh came, its like so long since I last see him!

Left lin lao shi's house, then went on to watch movie at bukit batok with JJ, zh, jianxiong and yaqi (INITIAL PLAN). Then change to go shopping at orchard. At Queenstown alr JJ say go watch movie at bukit batok or else later at night will be very crowded. In the train, I felt so, so left out. Really. I don't know how to describe this feeling but I just hate it. I tried to blend in but no one cares about me. Am I wrong? Tell me, am I supposed to leave?

These questions were answered when we are reaching bb.

At je interchange, we went separate ways. JJ claimed that the other side have lesser people. He and yaqi went over. Went in the train, a lot of ppl, and idk where jx and zh was. While in train, I received a message.

"Can you go home? I only want to watch movie with jianxiong zhenhao and yaqi."

Immediately, my heart sank. So from the start I wasn't supposed to be with them? And they didn't want me to follow? I was sad. Really sad. I was crying. When the train reached bb, I didn't alight. I alighted next stop, then got down and took train back to bb. Stupid isn't it? Cos I know I shouldn't be there. I shouldn't. If I alighted they will see me, I don't want them to see me.

I really thought things were becoming okay, but now? Totally moodless now but who understands? Who bothers? Who cares? Who bother to care?

Actually I alr expected this, but why am I so sad? Perhaps part of me believes that this won't happen. Tell me, am I wrong? Does JJ even knows how I feel? I know it's good to be frank, and I really have nothing to say about being frank.. I rather he is frank than fake isn't it? But, I just hate it. Why why why?! It's always me. Always. Me. I HATE feeling this way. You said we are good friends afterall, DEFINE YOUR MEANING OF GOOD FRIEND THEN. I just gonna act like it is nothing. Or else, what can I do? Cry to him? He isn't wrong. I AM wrong. Wrong to be following them. Wrong to keep trying to blend in. Every step I take, is always wrong. I never learn.

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