two days before. kind of had a fight with xueqi. we are okay now. i'm just unhappy for the fact that i'm like the only one putting effort in friendship always. but for xueqi it's okay. i know it's worth it. it's not worth for me to put effort to people who will never appreciate...

jiajun's treating me cold now. yeah hot and cold. days before he came to talk to me privately and we talked quite happily, and now he dont even talk to me. i really dont know him. why? i dont like this. either you treat me cold completely from the start or hot. (tho i'd wish for you to not treat me cold). sigh. guess you dont really care about me. i shouldnt put in too much effort. i mean, i shouldnt show it. i'm afraid he might creep out or whatever. i mustnt make it so obvious. i dont like him. yes, i dont. there's only friendship between us...nothing else.

i feel like i'm drifting from everyone gradually...i push people away. what am i actually doing? i dont know. i just dont feel happy. i feel so empty. there's nothing for me to be anticipating for school or outings anymore. there's no fire in my heart. i'm sick of watching as the minutes pass while i go nowhere.