was so shocked how yaqi is so encouraging and believing in me! it's like we once disliked each other and i also hated her and all, she still treats me so nice! and she stated how good i am and there are actually better guys out there. she also said if zh have someone he likes must be happy for him and don't hate the girl. furthermore she said 有一种爱叫放手 haha all these seemed to be subtle hints in telling me and zh impossible alr! but i know la, just that i refuse to face the fact! sigh so i made up my mind. after my OS, if he's really not gna take any action i'll try to let go :'((((((((( grrrr it's a heartbreaking decision idk why. zh what if i say i really really like you. will it change anything.

thank yaqi. you're really nice. thanks for the wake up call as well.........


sometimes i look and zh's profile and his tagged photos and all, and wondered how such a good looking guy will fall for me. i'm just not good enough. and i'll never will be. and jiajun's instagram. grrrrrrrrrrr why can't i be skinnier?! why can't i be prettier?! I HATE MYSELF SO FUCKING MUCH!