I dk how should I feel. It feels like it's really the end. I feel like crying. When was the last time I felt this sad. I can't recall. I remember the reason was him. I feel like a total failure. I should be happy that he finally told me how he feel. But im just damn sad. To be proven wrong on something I've believed strongly in many years. To let myself realise I failed badly in relationships. To let myself plummet into the endless universe. To realise I can never have him. To realise from the start I did not stand any chance. To realise how useless I am. To realise that my persistence will never bring me to where I wanna go and what I want. To lose hope in many things.

I feel so lost. 

Today is the deadline. I should be starting to give up on him. I should. But liking him is a feeling, how do I ever stop?

Fuck I'm feeling so so worse now. I wish I had someone to cry to.