Went to work with Samuel and co today and I have never felt so great for so long! I can't believe there's totally no awkwardness between us all and we can still have so much fun like how we used to have! It really feels good to know that there are people who acknowledges your existence. Samuel invited me to his chalet! I'm more than willing to go! I know it'll not be another 'sleep-thru' chalet like last year's PAP. The problem now is my dad! If he allows me to stay over! Haha I really can't wait to go out and have fun with them man! Today was the most tiring job in this year! But it was so fun! I am so tired but at the same time feel great! I really miss having fun with them man. Working tomorrow again! Today is a great day!

JJ whatsapped me. Yknow what I really dk what to say. 'I can't be there for you 24/7, I have other friends'. I don't know how many thousand times you've told me this and I completely understand. You're just a part time good friend of mine, that's what you make me feel. And you make me feel like you are obliged to care for me because I 'deserve better treatment', and it's like when you read my blog and you went 'oh shit I forget to care about Rachel!' then you talk to me. This is how you make me feel. You taught me to not neglect your old friends when you make new friends. You made me learn the hard way. While now I'm trying to treasure every friendship and the time we spent together, you are outside having fun with your new friends. This has been happening for quite a long time, but I kept silent. Because I don't wanna cause anymore unhappiness. You don't have to explain anything to me okay? I just felt like letting it all out. Maybe I'm not of top priority, I'm just one of your classmate/secondary school friend. I shouldn't expect so much from you. It's my fault. It's my fault

I don't even know why I am so affected by Craig. Just when I thought I found a substitute for zh, he just leave me hanging here. But I believe if he didn't, I will never treat him as a substitute. 

Fuck, I feel like I've been played by him.