that night: two days ago, i skype IM-ed him saying 'i know ive taken away lots of your time. i know this is selfish but can i demand for more'

there was no reply. agh idk why this is so depressing i just feel like puching the wall and scold myself for being so dumb!! and yestrrday when we all went out he even avoided sitting the same table as me! (we were split into diff tables at mac) wtf! that looks totally like what zhenhao will do! i srsly cant believe he is also like that! 就算是我看错你了！fucking disappointed! 

what to look forward in life anymore? hoesntly time is passing by waiting for me to die. maybe if now a car rush towards me i wont even attempt to run. because theres no reason to! i dont even know what i want in life...i am just studying for the sake of studying. i dont know. i feel so hopeless and helpless.