Shuanghui unfollowed me and made me unfollowed her, too. When I first saw I was like wth? I frantically refreshing the page to check if it's a connection or sever error, sadly it wasn't. Really sad. She left. Because I changed. She cannot accept who I am. Because I didnt want to give up? I'm sad over it but then I thought for a while and came out with a conclusion: if she can't accept who I am, do she even deserve to be my friend?
Yes it may be bad to have this conclusion yet this was what she decided to do, this was how she wanted to treat things. Forget it then. I think soon, Derrick will leave. We are arguing over the same thing almost everyday. I'm really tired. PLEASE, JUST LET ME LIKE HIM. I DON'T WANT. I DOJT WANT. WHO THE HELL WILL SPARE A THOUGHT OF MY FEELINGS? IM ANNOYING FOR MENTIONING HIM, YES I WILL STOP. BUT I WILL NOT STOP LIKING HIM. AS A FRIEND CAN YOU PLEASE JUST RESPECT MY DECISION? I LIKE TO HURT MYSELF. I KNOW YOU CARE. BUT ICANT MAKE MYSELF TO GIVE UP! WHEN WILL YOU EVER FUCKING UNDERSTAND?!????!!!!!

I'm having a thought of stop going church, initially I went it was because of him, but then I made friends and they are really awesome. now I'm going to stop going because of him too. He said I gave in troubles and frustration after I went church. Really sad after hearing these from derrick. I should stop going. I won't tell anyone why I stopped going, everyone will blame him isn't it? So to anyone who's reading this, promise me that your mouth is zipped regarding this matter.

EVERYTHING IS JUST COMING TOWARDS ME. I really can't take it anymore. WHEN WILL THINGS EVER BE OK?!