nonexistent

Hais.. Today. I saw Jianxiong and asked him what was his picture about. He just dao me! Like he know I'm talking to him but he just turned his head to glen! Wtf!? Srsly. He started to like treat me very coldly since after Jiajun scolded me on twitter! I don't understand... Last time we still will talk etc and now he just treats me like stranger! I followed him on instagram but he didn't follow back! I don't know why I'm so affected but it just makes me feel even more useless and invisible! I hate this feeling! He is not the only one! I also hate feeling left out. I HATE IT. I HATE IT! damn.

Jiajun's bday is reaching. I'm think what can I do for him.. I rmb he said a letter is enough. I'll do that then. I'm just afraid.. He will go around showing ppl or read in front of ppl. I think he won't, but I'm afraid he will. I...
A year before, things were so different. We can't go back anymore. Moving forward seems so hard and meaningless. things I wish for will nvr happen. nvr.