I like how u always manage to make my day a better one. Tho it was all my wishful thinking. I know we are impossible. And I'm keep these thinkings away. He was like so sad these few days. I wanna ask him what happened and cheer up etc. till I recalle smth. Last sat (while studying) He added "Hahahas!!! Asshole!! Smile :)" in my notes after reading my notes. I instantly smiled after i saw that. Whenever I'm sad I will just look at the note. It cheers me up. something he didn't know was that some of the notes were actually referring to him. It's okay actually. I'd rather him not know anything. I borrowed his iPod from him to see his songs etc. thn when I'm seeing, he was looking what I'm looking. I jokingly said "why? You scared I see smth I shldnt know?" he said "no la~" thn took back his iPod. I went into blank for dk why. He said "eh don't liddat la. Actually I.. Aiya u shld know what I mean". I don't. But I could roughly guess. I knew he lost trust in me. I thought I gained it back. I didn't. Why? TW also don't trust me. Do I really look like someone who will spread secrets around? No! In fact, I value trust more than anything. Tht time jj told me he 'like' ttl and tell me not to tell anyone, he haven't even tell tw. I blogged about my feelings towards it, and locked the blog immediately because he didn't want ppl to know he like ttl! In the end he was just fooling me. Do I not take trust seriously? Forget it man. In their eyes, I'm just someone who has a big mouth, isn't it?

"we both fucked up. maybe we fooled ourselves into believing it was realer than it was. i’d like to think that we’ve just forgotten how real it was, but what do i know. i miss you. i hope that someday you feel the same."
This explains how I feel towards you.


Me and TW drifted. I don't think he even care. I'm still very reluctant to lock this blog from him. Whenever I decided to lock, I told myself things like "aiya, next time. So troublesome." "after exams bah" "next time". Actually if I really wanna lock I can do it in less than a minute. I kept giving excuses. I don't know why.. TW, do u still care? Hais srsly... Prove me wrong pls

Am I really a lousy friend? :(