don't know why i keep looking back. don't know..so pointless i feel. but i can't help it. i miss you, jiajun. i miss how close we used to be. i miss you. i miss us. i don't know how many time i've said all these. though all to no reciprocity. i know you'll never see this blog anymore, you'll never care about me anymore.. i know.

he keeps playing these few days. he jokingly called me his 514th girlfriend. ha. thou i know that said without any real meaning, i was happy when he called me his gf. not with the 514 of cos. it reminds me of the past..that period of time when he protected me from jerron. kinda miss this kind of protection he used to give me in the past. either from jerron, bryant or norman. ha. i'm so glad he's not reading this blog anymore, or he'll avoid me after reading these.even though i want him to read these so badly, but i know nothing will happen after he read these. after all, how much can i mean to him now?

i don't want to fall for him again. why these feelings keep coming back?