I was actually expecting a reply from zh on the letter I wrote to him. I put in lots of effort and time in it, from long ago I started planning what to write...how to make my passage sound right and all. Last night, I texted happy bday! Last. At 1159, I wanted him to maybe give me a reply on the letter I gave him. But he didn't even reply. Ah, I guess he was just being nice yesterday because I went down to pass him that present. But I am still very very happy. Now I know he really don't care, then forget it. Forget it.. But I don't get it. In the afternoon he suddenly treated me so well and at night everything's back to sqaure one again, he ignored me. Ahh, forget it. 

Fuck la.... Ha what can I do anyway! 

Two more days to EL. I'm damn scared. I am fucking scared.