i asked sf on skype what happened and all. he said he stopped talking to me because he honestly have no time. and he wants me to let to stand by myself. it's not about this man...i just need a friend to stand by me. and i also asked him if he really liked me, or he just wanted to help me get out of my own protective shell. and the answer was no, he just wanted to break my shell, no time for gf n not in the mood. i was so fucking shattered when i read that. like what the fuck, you fooled me into liking u and now u tell me you were just trying to help me? intentions were good, but methods were fucking wrong. i wanted to scold him so so much but i thought of he meant well, but my another side of my mind told me he fooled me, he played with my feelings . i am in a denial! all i could say was 'ok...wah you dont need to do this to me right ;( nvm, perhaps coz i think too highly of myself alr. i knew it... shouldnt  bother u anymore. i go sleep 1st'
and he didnt reply.

thanks ah. for hurting me more than zh did.

i sent happy cny to zh. history is gonna repeat. sf forced me into this. because i realise liking zh will make me feel less miserable. sigh.