i sent another text, 'if i alr let down my ego and you still dont appreciate it, i wont try anymore' with attacted pic captioned "if i cut you off, chances are you handed me the scissors"

he didn't reply.
he told me he is busy so he couldnt talk to me. i really cant believe this. he is busy playing games. it's impossible that he cant make time for me. so i am guessing it's a deliberate effort to avoid me. i dont know why he's doing this, i honestly dont...i really wanna know what he's exactly thinking:( hais. now what i can do is keep working to distract myself, to make myself stop feeling. i feel so terrible, so so terrible. he once told me he'll never leave. but he's doing it now. i dont know what more to say... he doesn't know how much i wanna tell him he alr won the jerk-zh (he once told me he wanna win the jerk in my heart). how much i wanna tell him - my sickness will not reoccur anymore, i am over. but i guess it's too late! hahahaa. thanks for hurting me so much. you hurt me more than zh did. for making me so attached to you and then dumping me aside like i never meant anything to you. it wasn't easy falling for u. but when i fell, i fell hard. because you make me feel something i've never felt before, like i am loved by someone (finally). but it all turns out to be a dream. precisely, who'd love someone like me? i shouldn't have think he really liked me.... i think he was just playing all along. i dont know. i really hope he'll talk to me again soon